Thursday, 14 February 2013

school... again

I am ever so grateful to those adoption networks that I mentioned last time; but I am also grateful to the friends that I have on the doorstep - or rather in the play ground at school. I am lucky, one of my biggest supporters through the dark infertility years happens to have some children at the same school as boy-o attends nursery. So when today I was blindsided, I saw her on the way out and along with a lot of other things that we were talking about, I was able to say to her what I'd just been told. And later, when I found out what had actually gone on - you know by talking to my boy - I was able to phone her up and say...all a drama about nothing.

What am I going on about?

Well, when I discovered that boy-o was chewing lots at school, and trying to find reason - I'm convinced it's about grounding and feeling safe - I spoke to his keyworker and let her know that we are thinking of adopting again; and that we have talked about this idea with boy-o. His keyworker obviously let other staff know about this, which is fine, mostly....

Until today - when I got greeted by my least favorite assistant, with 'boy-o's been crying today, and when we spoke to him he said he didn't want the baby to stay'

And she obviously jumped to totally incorrect ideas about adoption and what is going on in our house. Needless to say, I did say 'oh, that's interesting, I wonder where he got that idea from, we don't have a baby, nor are we ever going to have a baby'

When we got to the car - having spent some time chatting to my friend... I was talking to boy-o as we were driving away.

I asked boy-o why he had been crying and he said - 'I wanted to come home' which was a long way away from what the assistant had told me.

It turns out (I think - will ask more questions tomorrow); the little boy who was really upset at drop off time, eventually went home with his mum and baby brother. Boy-o is a caring little soul and the baby brother has some problems and he always asks about the baby.

But... the upset boy obviously got to go home because he was crying, with his baby brother.

My boy isn't silly, he'd told me he didn't want to go, but he'd gone to nursery. He told me he wanted me to stay - but although I settled him, I didn't. But he saw someone he likes upset and able to go home... and I think decided to try it on.

We did talk again about having a 'little brother/little sister' and he now claims he wants 2... he still likes the idea (he may not when they actually arrive). We also talked about how big brothers and sisters don't have to leave because new ones arrive.

I really think he was trying it on, but now I have another thing to discuss with his keyworker!

And yes - I know the assistant means well, but I don't think she listens to him properly. He gets muddled when he's upset and he can do upset really well. Especially when he's as tired as he is.

Roll on next week, some down time, some friend time and some sleep.... and for me some research into sensory integration!

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