Thursday, 28 March 2013


It's been a funny old few weeks... but the Easter holidays are here and we can all relax and breathe a little easier.... I say this despite the fact, boy-o craves routine and the fact we are off to visit family makes it all worse!

Nursery school are doing good things; well I think they are doing good things. Following our open and honest discussion at parent's evening, they are asking a specialist Early Years team into school to assess him. Hopefully this will give us all a clearly picture of where he is, and what he's particular needs are. It does mean he is now firmly on the special needs register, but I'm not too worried by that fact.

Work - my boss is up to her old tricks. This week two of my friends returned from maternity leave...they were both in tears before the end of their second day. Thankfully working 3 days a week, I can just about avoid her.

We are going to visit my parents for a week. These are the same parents who partly live in the same village as me, and partly live on the Isle of Wight. It's an arrangement that is working for no-one at the moment, and I can't see it continuing. Nevertheless, a week on the Isle of Wight beckons.

Life story book.... it's on it's way, finally I've nearly finished the re-invented book! There may be blurry pictures when I've done it.

Adoption 2... is also underway. We've had two official visits from our SW, we would have done all the questions, but we got sidetracked into talking about the Life Story Book provided by boy-o's social worker... and how shockingly bad it is. I showed it to her, and she agreed. She was cross on our behalf. She's coming back after her 2 week Easter break, twice in one week, once to see boy-o and once to see M and I.

It's cold and we still have snow. Not as much as we had last weekend, but there is still snow out there. I'm hoping my the time we are back from holiday it will be gone for at least 7 months! I can't cope if we have snow in April.

There is much more racing around my head, but I am too tired to write anymore now! Soon hopefully.

Thursday, 21 March 2013

Parent's evening

We had parent's evening this evening with boy-o's teacher at school. And we said all sorts of positive things, and talked about all sorts of useful things. And I left happy....

Not because he is doing amazingly well at school - he's not, he is below the appropriate level in everything - he's just turned four, and in the majority of the measures used, he is at 24 months... some things he's at 18-24 months, and some things he's at 24-36 months. Listening/concentration he is further behind in, but she agreed with us, that part of it, is hypervigilance, a need to know what is happening.

BUT... and what a big but this is for us;

He is making progress in all areas.

He is getting better in all areas.

He is making friends and playing with them.

And his teacher (& key worker) understands him, gets him and works with us.

He will start reception next year on the special needs register... what level is still being discussed. Mainly for physical issues; but the assessment will be on all the levels where he is seriously behind his peers.

He will have additional support; the teachers he moves on to, will have documented evidence of who he is, and what he is doing.

But more - and my fellow adoptive parents will understand this... she has promised us, that she will check in on him daily in September, and continue to check in on him routinely. It has taken 6 months for him to trust the staff that he is presently with, and she doesn't want that link broken. She knows he won't transfer that trust as easily as some children, and wants to make sure he is okay.

I can't tell you how wonderful it felt. To talk to this educator; and have her appreciate what he has dealt with, and to appreciate what he needs to move on. She understands why it is important that he moves on with his friends, and will oppose any idea that the two nursery classes should be mixed. She says it has taken him a while to get to grips with it all, but that he is thriving at nursery school.

And I am happy.

Tuesday, 19 March 2013


Our boy celebrated his fourth birthday this past weekend. He coped better than we expected, but has also reacted in the way that we expected.

I picked him up from school last Fri, and was caught by his teacher who told me that they'd had a difficult week at school. I was able to explain that he'd had his birthday party the previous weekend, that he'd moved in with us just before his birthday and associates presents, parties and birthdays with moving homes. She got it immediately; that he is operating on fear at the moment.

We had a quiet day on Saturday. Just time spent as a family.

Sunday was a very different day. He was his actual birthday. He woke up and although he knew that there were presents downstairs, he was very happy to play upstairs. We sat and read books, and cuddled... he wasn't for going downstairs. Eventually we persuaded him, and he unwrapped his presents happily, but soon had enough and we moved onto something else.

He knew we had visitors coming, and he was on hyper alert... he wanted to know what every noise was, who every car that passed belonged to, what was happening, what was going on.

His Granny (my mum) and Gran Gran (my Gran), my cousin and her two daughters arrived. They all played nicely for a while. We had lunch. More people came and visited. He coped, and coped and coped, until he couldn't anymore. When everyone went about 4.30, he had a very quick tea, lots of cuddles and talking and then bed.

He is doing better than we thought he might this week. But it's not great. Birthdays are difficult, and we assume will continue to be so for a while yet.

Thursday, 14 March 2013


Sorry - I've made a commitment to myself to blog more; and I'd been managing it but the last two weeks have been busy/difficult/tired.

In summary: illness, meeting, meeting, illness, preparing for birthday party, birthday cake, birthday party, adoption celebration, illness, mother's day, illness, ofsted, ofsted, illness, CRB forms, illness.

As you can see - illness features quite highly, from boy-o's cold at half term, we have all been suffering with a cold, that keeps mutating and getting passed round. It's not been very fun, and M started with another cold yesterday. I think we shall just keep clinging on until Easter, when we can relax and chill!

The birthday celebrations I will keep for another day - as they deserve their own post; party last weekend, birthday is this coming weekend.

Adoption celebration event, is one of the magical things that our LA does for us. We enjoyed it last year, and more so this year, as we knew what we were expecting. It was fantastic to see so many familiar faces from adoption support group, the toddler stay and play, and best of all our preparation course. I talked to lots of people, boy-o bounced lots on the bouncy castle, demanded a balloon model made by our old social worker - nothing else would do. There was sand, tunnels, paint, all which were played with.

Ofsted visited my work this week. It involved lots of extra paperwork, seating plans, lesson plans (usually a powerpoint is enough), results tables... and super planned lessons. I was seen, I am content with what I was graded. I am super pleased with the overall result which we were told at 4.00 yesterday, all the hard work has indeed paid off.

Mother's day - for years I avoided Church on Mothering Sunday, if I have to sit through another service next year like the one I sat through this year, I might have to make sure my boy doesn't go. All about the wonderful bond formed between mother's and their children. And all about how mother's keep their children safe. Thankfully I had my special Brownie sitting next to me, and she focused my attention away from anything else. Boy-o was playing in creche, and didn't hear any of it - but we won't be able to do that next year. Grrrrr.

Second adoption plans are progressing, but been hampered by the workload of our LA. Things are moving, I know they are, but slowly, slowly, slowly. We did eventually get our form to fill in, we have eventually got the CRB forms and the medical forms, but it's all slowly, slowly, slowly. Social Worker A is visiting next week - she is A purely as she was our first social worker...although there may be another reason too.

And the meetings were useful, but two meetings in two evenings is too many.

More will follow - not sure when, but it will!