Friday

Friday was always going to be difficult before the week got interesting! It was children in need - so Boy-o didn't have his uniform for school, and he had a hospital appointment and we had no-one who we could leave Jelly with!

Boy-o went to school, got himself wound up and worried, then we had to pick him up early and take him to the hospital. This made him worry and panic and stress... because he has been wobbly all week. The good news is, he did really well, and his right eye is now nearly working at normal level (through his glasses) and his left eye is improving.

After this, because although it had been a difficult week, we had all coped okay, we decided to go for our lunch. This was obviously one thing too much for the boy. We went somewhere we have been before, which was quiet - it's a child friendly place, and it was a cold Nov Friday. He really struggled with eating, as it is a diner style place, and the seat backs are high. He struggled with playing outside, on the lovely equipment they have. He just struggled.

We came home and had some playing time... not that boy-o can play anywhere near jelly this week. And the boys were in their pyjama's at 5.00 and in bed by 5.30. If only they slept through!

Sorting things...

So, on Friday, I had a conversation with a fellow adopter who said 'you need help' and I couldn't disagree...it's all a little hard at the minute. She also suggested that we look into disability living allowance for boyo, as he needs more support than others of his age...and this might enable me to work less hours next year, or simply as M put it, have a take away once a week, so it's less stress for us. After this weekend, something has to give, as we cannot carry on like this, so I have asked for help...

I spoke at length last night to my friend who is an experienced reception teacher. She said that if she had boyo in her class at school, she would be asking for help and guidance, because there is clearly something wrong. And she admitted that actually, it's lots of little things wrong, which makes it more complex. She has given me a list of things to raise with his teacher...and yes I am a qualified teacher, but I needed external input to help me feel confident that I was right in this on, not just seeing things that aren't there.

I spoke briefly this morning to a mate who is a paedriciation, whilst she doesn't know boyo as well as teacher friend, she has seen him around. She has suggested that we might need to get a psychologist to look at him. She also advised that DLA is getting harder to get, but she thinks we stand a chance.

I've spoken to post adoption support...who will send me an appointment for about 6 to 8 weeks time. She didn't think I sounded desperate enough for the duty SW, which is fine, because I then emailed our SW to let her know that I've started things moving and why...she is brilliant by the way, but I need a needs assessment for boyo and that's not her roll.

I've spoken to secretary of our present paedriciation, who is retiring (grrrrrr), who listened to me, and said the paedriciation will phone me back, so she can add extra info to covering letter for new paedriciation. 

I've also asked the mums of several 4 year olds we know to have a look at a list, and tell me what things their child can do, so I can compare him for DLA form! 

And overshadowing all this, we have an appointment for Jelly later in the week...to start ball rolling to see if he has the same genetic illness as one of his siblings!

Things aren't great at the moment, and I'm not looking for sympathy. These are my boys, and thus is what we have chosen...but I want someone with a magic wand to come along, wave it, and solve all our problems! 

A day out of time...

I'm still laughing over Demeter's comment on my post earlier in the week... just in case you didn't pick it up this is someone we know and love - and her L is just a few weeks younger than boy-o. Oh, and she is also expecting an addition to her family, in a different way to ours mind you.



Demeter said...
We had a conversation with L about you also having a second child. I tried to explain that not all families are made by growing a baby in your tummy.
Her response was that "so sometimes you grow one and sometimes, it is like Dumbo and you get one brought and your mummy looks after you just the same?"

So what I think my daughter is saying is that you are a crazy elephant :)


So there we are - forever fixed in minds as an elephant....thanks for that L



 Today we have had a family day.... nobody did the usual things today. I didn't go to work, today M didn't go to work, and boy-o didn't do school nursery. Instead we went to the adoption toddler group and then the hospital this afternoon.

The group this morning was fab, full of people that I know, both from when we went regularly and from adoption support group. It was lovely to see people that I've got to know through the process with their children. It was even nicer to see those people that I relied on for support in the early days. I was able to have conversations about second time adoptions, and know I'd get support.

Even better, the social worker that was their this morning, was the one who we visited last week. When I was talking about it - and someone asked if we were on a roll, I looked at her, and she said 'yes, you're on a roll.' And in parting, she said she'd see us soon.... fingers crossed.

This afternoon was better than expected and worse than expected. The drops went in his eyes better than last time, he didn't complain as much. It worked, his eyes were checked. There was no big change in his eyesight; no reason for his sight not improving. He's been referred to have his optical nerve checked.... I'm not sure that I'm entirely happy over that.