We met yesterday with the contact worker who supervised all boy-o's visits with his birth mother and eldest brother and sister. It was a useful experience, and we got some more photos including some of boy-o with his brother and sister.
The contact supervisor J.P. described boy-o as a lovely little boy, who is lively, mischievous and happy go lucky. She also commented that his brother and sister are nice natured. She doesn't think that boy-o has any attachment to his family, and although he enjoyed the visits, he would have enjoyed them if she'd sat and played with him for the time. He enjoyed being the centre of attention.
J.P. met boy-o's dad once, and supervised one contact meeting between them before his birth father died. She couldn't comment any more on him.
J.P. says that birth mother is really likable and has her own difficulties and has been taken advantage of in her life. J.P. thinks that birth mother loves and cares about her children but she herself is vulnerable and emotionally unready to cope with children. However she was good at changing boy-o's nappies, feeding him bottles and giving him baths when he was a young baby. Initially contact was 5 times a week, but that was reduced to 3 times a week, and then once a week. The reasons for the reduction was because birth mother has some illness and was unable to go to contact. There was a suggestion that not all the illness was genuine.
Birth mother's new husband has been to contact as well, and has been described as good with children. Both birth mother and husband have been easy for JP to work with; they haven't caused any problems. JP did say that she thinks birth mother has moved on with her life.
JP said that contact had been a happy time, shared within the family. Boy-o's birth mother was proud of his achievements, and his brother and sister were protective over boy-o. For example, when boy-o was learning to walk and kept toppling over his brother would rush over and pick him up. Boy's birth mother was proud when he managed to walk without problems.
-They spent time laughing over boy-o's healthy appetite and the fact that he will eat anything.
-Boy-o at one point bit his sister's shoulder, she was more upset that her brother had bitten her than actually physically hurt. It was something that was referred to on more than one occasion during contact.
-Boy-o broke JP and birth mother's necklaces when he was attracted to the shiny jewellery - that might be a lesson for me to learn!
#MicroblogMondays 165: Choosing to Be Calm
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