Sunday, 2 February 2014

A calmer time

The end of another week, the passing of another weekend...but this one has been more peaceful than recent ones, not perfect, why would I want that but more peaceful. 

We had a reflective time this past week, lots of night time awake, and chatting. We know what to do, but putting it into practice is hard. Last weekend by Sunday evening, moods were bad, there had been shouting and screaming and kicking...we all did some of one of them. The week started in the same way, except for one difference....

It didn't matter what boyo did, I did not shout at him. I got quiet, I got patient (very patient), I acknowledged his feelings, I did what needed doing without saying 'you can do that if you try'. When he let go of the pushchair, I stopped and waited. When he chewed toys, I removed them and gave him a chew, when he kicked I just cuddled and said 'I'm sorry you feel so cross'. 

And for this week it worked, the week ended calmer, the weekend started calmer. Who cares that we know he can put his shoes on, right at the moment he can't. Who cares if he can put his trousers on if he thinks about it, right now he can't.

Okay, I lie, we weren't perfect and calm at all times. I don't function on 4 hours sleep...this was more because Jelly was ill than anything else. But, and this is important, each day was a fresh start, and I made sure it was.

It resulted in a lovely weekend, with no lingering resentment (apart from about the lack of sleep).

Now just to do it all again! 


Sezz said...

I love your bit about the shoes and trousers. That's something I need to take on board with our daughter. There are times she can't do things that she's easily done before and OH and I need to remember that, for that particular time, for whatever reason, she can't do it and not to let it frustrate us. Thanks for the reminder :-)

Three Pink Diamonds said...

Fair play to you. I am trying to get to this stage of remaining calm when the kids do the little things that annoy me. How did you manage to stay calm? Please share the secret?