Sunday, 14 April 2013

Changes....

The theme this week at WASO (see the button on the left) is all about transitions;

I'm boy-o. I'm four. Everyone thinks I am a happy boy. My Auntie R keeps telling Mummy that I will be okay, because I am happy and friendly she says that I draw other children to me.

But I don't like it when things change... and when I don't like it, I worry and get very cross. I don't like it, because although I love Mummy and Daddy lots, before I lived with them I lived with some other people who I loved too, they were called J & G. And suddenly, Daddy and Mummy started coming to see me, and all the things that I used to do stopped, then I left J&G's house and moved in with Mummy and Daddy.

Mummy says she likes I like routine because it's predictable and safe.

When I know what is going to happen, I am happy. But it's no good telling me that something good is going to happen, when things change I get scared, because it might mean that I have to move again. I don't like it when things change or stop. I get scared.

When I'm scared, I have to know where Mummy and Daddy are. I have to be near them, sometimes this makes Mummy cross as she trips over me a lot, but mostly she remembers that I am scared.

When I'm scared, I like to chew. Mummy and Daddy don't like me chewing my clothes, so they have given me a special chew to use. I use this a lot especially when I'm at school nursery, because strange people come into the classroom, or sometimes we have to do different things, like go to the music room. It's scary if you don't know what is going to happen.

When I'm scared I sometimes have bad dreams. I can't tell Mummy and Daddy what the dreams are about, but I do calm down if Mummy or Daddy come and give me a cuddle. I hate it when I wake up and they aren't here, because that is really scary. I know that they only leave me with Granny and Grandad, or Granny and GD, but if Mummy and Daddy aren't here when I wake up, I don't know where they are, and that is even scarier.

Sometimes when I'm really scared I hit or kick Mummy and Daddy. Mummy really doesn't like this, and she is trying to get me to shout and scream and jump when I am cross. She thinks this might stop me hitting and kicking them. I get really upset when I hit or kick Mummy or Daddy, because I love them and I don't want to hurt them, but sometimes I do.



....okay - so boy-o clearly hasn't written this - but this is what change does for us, in this house. And whilst we try to stay calm and help him, it's not always easy! It helps to remember, that when he is scared, he has these behaviors so we can start to help him unpick why he is scared!




2 comments:

Vicki TBB said...

Nice post. Really feels like you're very connected to Boy-O and completely understand how he feels.
Thanks for writing about transition and linking up to the Weekly Adoption Shout Out x

Sarah Hill said...

It's so important that you try to see things from the perspective of your child and you obviously can. It's so hard to be there for them constantly, in fact physically impossible but that you are there 99% of the time will gradually be making it easier for Boyo.
Thank you for linking up to The Weekly Adoption Shout out. x