Friday, 9 November 2012

Learning about the boy...

The next instalment in our adoption story, for National Adoption Week 2012. And just to make this clear... this is my and my husband's story, there is information about the boy that I won't be sharing, but that we were told about.

So back in Oct 2010, we very first heard about our boy. But not in detail, just that we had been put forward for a child. The next stage was that his social worker had to read our report...this took a long time. And whilst we expected in that in a week or two we would hear more in the end it took until until December until we met his social worker.

In Mid November we met our social worker this week. She told us about a little boy, she went through his report. He's was a little younger than we had been thinking - 20month. I remember before hearing about him, that we were determined to be hard about it, and think rationally whether he was the correct child for us. However, we went for a walk with our dog when our social worker left and both of us had an amazing feeling, that this was it, he was ours.

We eventually met his social worker in Dec; we talked about him, we asked our questions, she asked hers. She went away, and the next day contacted our social worker to say, that 'yes, she thought we would be suitable parents for this boy'

What followed was a series of meetings...

Foster Carers Jan 2011
We have spent 1hr30 with boy-o's foster parents today, and we got to hear a lot more about him. We still feel very lucky, very blessed and as if this is the child that is meant for us.

Boy was described as placid and easy going. He is however, lively, boisterous and clumsy. He is very caring and will often run up to his foster parents and give them a hug for no other reason than because he wants to. He apparently cries when he doesn't get his own way. He has been known to hold his breathe in annoyance, but his foster mother says she just ignores it and he gives up.

He sounds like a problem solver. He will work something out, and just when his foster parent's think that they have stopped him doing something he will figure out a way around it. Apparently he loves fruit, and they have a fruit bowl in the middle of their table; boy figured out that if he pulled the table cloth he could get to the fruit bowl if he climbed on the chair.

He presently attends Playgroup 3 times a week. He will have a go at anything, and really enjoys being around adults and children. He loves soft play centres, ball pools and slides. He has no real favourite toys, or TV programmes. However, he does have some toys that he will bring with him; which are his. His foster parent's have said that he will bring clothes, toys, his sippy cup and plates and cutlery with him. He has recently had some new shoes fitted, along with some boots.

He is well attached to his foster carers, and doesn't like being left in an unfamiliar situation. However, this could be because he has recently seen two other foster children been moved on, including one that had been in the home since boy-o arrived.

Contact worker
We met yesterday with the contact worker who supervised all boy-o's visits with his birth mother and eldest brother and sister. It was a useful experience, and we got some more photos including some of boy-o with his brother and sister.

The contact supervisor J.P. described boy-o as a lovely little boy, who is lively, mischievous and happy go lucky. She also commented that his brother and sister are nice natured. She doesn't think that boy-o has any attachment to his family, and although he enjoyed the visits, he would have enjoyed them if she'd sat and played with him for the time. He enjoyed being the centre of attention.

JP said that contact had been a happy time, shared within the family. Boy-o's birth mother was proud of his achievements, and his brother and sister were protective over boy-o. For example, when boy-o was learning to walk and kept toppling over his brother would rush over and pick him up. Boy's birth mother was proud when he managed to walk without problems.

Medical Advisor
I didn't blog about this one, because there was a lot of information to take on, and it's part of his story not ours.

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