Wednesday, 13 May 2009

I know but do you?

I know I’m difficult to deal with. I know that my infertility has changed me beyond anything I could have imagined. I know that I come across as angry and bitter. I know I don’t smile like I used to. I know that I push my friends away because I can’t help myself.

BUT…

Do you know that sometimes it would be good to hear ‘it’s okay’ when I’ve cried?

Do you know that sometimes it would be nice to hear ‘I care about you and think you’re doing okay’ when it feels like the world is against me?

Do you know that even when you don't want to hurt me by asking how I am doing, it would be good to hear 'how are you'? Because sometimes this feels incredibly lonely.

Do you know that sometimes a simple smile would make me feel like you appreciate my pain?

Do you know that sometimes in the blackest minutes a hand reached out in friendship is all that’s needed?

Do you know that I don’t want to constantly think about my problems, and sometimes dealing with other people’s, lessens the pain?

Do you know that just because some days I can’t laugh, I still need laughter around me?

Do you know just because I’m scared that my life won’t work out how I planned it, I am not incapable of dealing with my friend’s lives? That it hurts more when I am left out?

Do you know that sometimes sitting and crying with someone can bring about smiles and laughter?

Do you know that ignoring the problem, doesn’t make it go away and that I’d feel better if you’d acknowledge it – even if that is all you can do?

Do you know that the biggest thing that I’ve learnt on this journey are that the friends who stick around come rain and shine, are the ones that are worth fighting for?

9 comments:

April said...

this is a great "how to be a support to an IFer" list.

sending lots of hugs your way :)

Xbox4NappyRash said...

mind yourself

Michelle said...

Here from Creme de la Creme. (Your link doesn't work from the main list) I was very interested in this topic, so I came to your blog direct and looked for this post.
Thank you for this post. I have 1 friend who is able to give me all those things.. the others, nice wonderful people but they just don't give me the support required. So, I'm glad I have one. I will save this post and show it people in the future who ask, what can they do for me.

Erika said...

An amazingly true list! Thanks for sharing. Good luck in 2010! I hope it brings many friends that are worth fighting for!

Lavender Luz said...

Great list. This one especially resonated for me: "Do you know that sometimes sitting and crying with someone can bring about smiles and laughter?"

My mom did this for me. It's one of her gifts.

Cherish said...

Also here from the Creme...this was a great post. Thanks for writing it.

Waiting In Sunshine said...

Here from Creme...

Perfect. And not sure if this helps, but on my blog I have a photoalbum of what an IVEr endures- people have sent it to their family and friends to REALLY help them understand what we deal with every single day. A picture of a u/s wand is way more than a description, for exmample. Feel free to foward on to anyone you think needs it.

Sunshine
(Here is where you can find the link to the album: http://waitinginsunshine.typepad.com/blog/a-day-in-the-live-of-an-ivferin-pictures.html

Murray said...

Here frome creme. Nicely written. I think we all need to hold on to those people and friends who know even some of the things on this list.

foxypopcorn said...

You say it all.

I'll definitely be sharing this with my friends and family. Thank you!