Wednesday, 21 August 2013


So I have been a bit remiss in writing this - however, not just this - but I seem not to have written any notes from foster carer. It feels odd, I have a note-book full of info from boy-o - social worker comments, medical adverser, foster parents, contact supervisor. I have some random notes for Jelly - but not anything useful in day to day life. It's possibly that I know I can phone foster carer up any time, that I have nodded, and thought, I'll remember that. Equally I have proved myself capable of looking after a child - I don't need copious notes. At some point I will possibly regret it, but not yet.

So Introductions....

The first day, we visited, just M and myself, boy-o stayed elsewhere. It gave us time to get to know Jelly without boy-o trying to get in the way. We spent an hour there in the morning, after our planning meeting, then came away and took boy-o out for lunch! We then went back in the afternoon, having left boy-o with someone else. We took lots of photos to show boy-o though.

The next day M went in the morning for an hour, and then we all went in the afternoon for several hours. Boy-o and Jelly had tea together having played together, and had a fantastic time outside. I have some lovely photos of them playing on the toddler slide.

We all went out with a picnic the following day, including the foster mum. We went to a local estate, and walked, fed ducks, had a picnic, played in the wood and played in the play area. I think foster mum was impressed (or depressed) when I just set to and changed Jelly's nappy after a poo, on the grass in the play area... Somewhere like that I don't see the need for a baby changing room, especially as the toilets there are a little ummm.  

Foster mum and Jelly came to our house in the afternoon, and after 30mins when Jelly was plainly calm and happy foster mum left, and Jelly stayed for tea.

M and I have been taking turns in going in a morning and evening to spend a bit of one-on-one time with Jelly at the foster carers. But both us and the foster mum agreed that the best thing for both boys was to be together at our house, living a relatively normal life.

More of the same sort of thing followed, Jelly came here for lunch, then we spent all day with Jelly - went out for some of the day with M and boy-o. This week Jelly has virtually been here all day, he's had breakfast at foster parent's and then bottle of milk at bedtime, the rest of the time he's been here.

If it hadn't been for a hospital appointment today, he'd have moved yesterday, both he and boy-o were ready. But we needed to get the hospital appointment sorted out, and the foster carer had to be there, to follow up from previous appointment. So tomorrow is the day... M will pick him up in the morning, and then tomorrow evening he will have his first night here.

I'm excited and tired. I'm happy but sad for foster carers and for birth family. This is our future and it is bright, but someone else had to suffer for us to get here.


Ann said...

Your last paragraph summed up so much of the mixed feelings we adoptive parents have.

Hoping your transition goes well. Congrats on officially being a mama to 2. ;)

Unknown said...

Thinking and praying for you all. Cx