Blogging and why it's good for me!

I forgot for a while why I started blogging.... and after a tearful phone call this morning I have remembered. This blog has always been my free therapy... and the need for that hasn't disappeared, no matter how my life has changed. I've hung back on blogging because in the middle of infertility there is nothing worse than stumbling over a blog and finding someone talking about a child. But this is my blog, and I shall write what I need to write here - and I apologise if I upset anyone - but we have adopted, this is now a blog about adoption - and has been for a while. However, that's not to say that infertility is now dead and gone - trust me it isn't, there are little reminders all the time to make me catch my breathe.

There has been a lot on my mind the past couple of weeks, a lot surrounds boy-o, adoption and being an only child, some surrounds my friends - in particular one of my oldest friends, some of it is about family - although how much you want to hear about dementia and the geriatrics in my life is anyone's guess.

I think I need to get back into writing, and when I have done that I shall get back in commenting. I need to remember that this is my space; and I can write what I like about what's going on in my head.

So what prompted all this - the realisation that I hadn't slept well last night because my mind was churning. The consequence was that we took M to work this morning (as he also didn't sleep well) and when I returned I reversed onto the drive as I always do; stopped, but didn't put car into gear or pull the handbrake on enough... my drive slopes... the car slide into the front corner of the house! The house is fine - the car not so! However to my inexpert eye I've just damaged the paint. This means it is cheaper, but it's still money I don't want to spend, especially as the other car also needs some touching up.

I phoned M to let him know; and ended up in tears. And I've been feeling sick all morning. And I need to sleep better... consequently more blogging needs to occur!

I had to pause and reflect on the difference a week can make! Last week all the news was about how young people (and others) were causing damage in many of our cities (although not our local one!), today I got to see happy and celebrating young people!

I'd made a promise before I started adoption leave that if I possibly could I would go into school for the A level results. I was leaving my year 13 chemistry class, some of whom I'd first met when they were 11; and most of whom I'd taught for 5 years; year 9 through to year 13. It is a real privilege to see them grow from children into young adults, who are setting out into the world, full of hope.

Most of them managed to achieve the grades that they needed to get into the university courses that they wanted to go to. A few didn't get their grades, but most managed to find somewhere to go.

That's what I want for boy-o - not the allure of university, but the chance for him to do what he dreams of, whatever that is. My hope is that he manages those awful teenage years with grace (more than I did anyway) and that he never has to think back and say 'if only...' as just a few of our pupils did today!