Back when we were trying to get (and stay) pregnant, there was never any doubt in my mind. We were going to cloth nappy. It made sense both economically and environmentally. Both my cousins cloth nappied, it didn't seem very difficult, there was no decision to be had.
And then, we adopted, and we adopted a 2 year old, who was on 98th centile, taller than some 4 year olds that we knew. It made no sense to spend money to buy cloth nappies, when he would be potty trained before long, we went straight for disposal nappies... and on the recommendation of my friend with 4 boys we went huggies, and they were fab, never leaked, and did exactly what we wanted. Of course it was well over a year before he potty trained, and even at 4 1/2 he still wets at night, but we made our choice and we stuck with it. Plus buying cloth nappies to fit him would have been more difficult than I needed at that point in my life.
And then we started the adoption process again. And we were linked to a 15 month old (after we made the decision to for go the 5 month old). And he's a great deal smaller, an average 15 month, hovering around the 50th centile for height. And huggies no long sell nappies in the UK anywhere that it is easy to get them... you can get them at some warehouse clubs, who are importing from the USA, but we gave up our membership as a cost cutting exercise... we used to go and spend between £100 and £200 without thinking about it, on stuff we didn't need... nice things, but not necessary things.
So we started thinking about cloth nappies again. And I started talking. One of my best friends had her second child earlier on the year, and she used cloth with her first and again with her second. When she came to visit she brought me a selection to see.... and explained about using them.
I went out (to a bridal shower) and sat chatting to three other friends who all cloth nappied. One said, she always switched to disposals at about a year old, one said, 'I'm not sure, I'd change him at 15 months old' and the other said, 'oh, I've got some liners that you could have, and I think I've got some nappies and wraps left'.
I started researching on line, and decided for during the day I really wanted to use either pocket nappies or 'all in ones'. So I did some searching and researching and came up with a list of 8 different makes and styles that I wanted to try. I managed to get hold of 3 pocket nappies and 3 all in ones of my list, and only brought one new one! I also spoke to our local council who provide cloth nappy packs to babies under 6 months in the area, and after some decision they decided that I could have a trail pack with another 'all - in - one' and a two part (shaped nappy and wrap). I also brought another two part nappy for overnight use.
So there we were several weeks before Jelly joined us, and I had 7 day nappies to try and 2 overnight ones! We played a bit during introductions when he was at our house, and obviously more since he moved in. M and I both know now which nappies we prefer, and how many more we think we need to buy. Pocket nappies are definitely the way forwards in this house and I hate to say it... my friend was right, she raves about the nappy type that we are going for... BumGenius V4...although I might still mix in a couple of Fuzzibunz perfect fit as well.
Overnight.. so far we haven't actually made a full night in washable. Mostly as I wimped out on changing from disposal to washable for first couple of nights, and then last night when I did try, Jelly is starting to realise that things are going back to how they were before (with him at child minder) and had a really bad night's sleep. I'd put one on, and at 1.30 a.m., when there was nothing left I could do for him, I changed it for a disposal... more normal feeling for him. Not that it worked, but at least I knew that there was nothing else I could do to make him feel better!
So Jelly at the moment is been cloth nappied during the day, and I'm probably going to continue in disposals for overnight for a few more weeks. I am lucky, as I have some of the mythical huggies - a huge box that one of my friends did pick up for me at a warehouse shop - but it was the last box on the shelf. If he needs more nappies in that size when they run out, we'll have to start experimenting with other brands...
And if you want some second hand all in one nappies - I have some for sale...
Showing posts with label number 2. Show all posts
Showing posts with label number 2. Show all posts
Sunday, 25 August 2013
Saturday, 10 August 2013
Summer holidays are passing...
It's not that I've nothing to post, it's just I'm so busy and so tired that I don't seem to have found the time.
When we set off for this school holiday, I knew I needed a plan.... so we have, and I'm sticking to it. There is something free on around here most days, so that was the first thing to go on. We also arranged to meet our fellow adoptive families on one day a week. I've tried to fit a treat most weeks... this week it was to go on one of the local steam railways, last week we went to big city and went to the Lego shop! We've also had friends to see - which has helped fill time. We've visited parks, walked in different places and generally had lots of out time. We've done craft and painting, and I have some more planned.
So far it seems to be going okay. We've had some meltdowns, and some tantrums, but not as much I was expecting!
Except of course, next week it will all go wrong. We are starting introductions for Jelly (assuming we get through matching panel), which will have a lot of impact on what we can do with Boy-o. At the moment we don't know exactly what we will be doing when, but it's going to have to involve Boy-o a lot, as I am short of people to leave him with - I might be calling in all sorts of favours and travelling to random other places to drop him off, to come back again to see Jelly, but until the plan is put forwards, I can do nothing to prepare.
It's worrying me, but there is nothing I can do, until we have that planning meeting! Which is why it's frustrating, I like to plan.... so if I appear irritated, that's way.
When we set off for this school holiday, I knew I needed a plan.... so we have, and I'm sticking to it. There is something free on around here most days, so that was the first thing to go on. We also arranged to meet our fellow adoptive families on one day a week. I've tried to fit a treat most weeks... this week it was to go on one of the local steam railways, last week we went to big city and went to the Lego shop! We've also had friends to see - which has helped fill time. We've visited parks, walked in different places and generally had lots of out time. We've done craft and painting, and I have some more planned.
So far it seems to be going okay. We've had some meltdowns, and some tantrums, but not as much I was expecting!
Except of course, next week it will all go wrong. We are starting introductions for Jelly (assuming we get through matching panel), which will have a lot of impact on what we can do with Boy-o. At the moment we don't know exactly what we will be doing when, but it's going to have to involve Boy-o a lot, as I am short of people to leave him with - I might be calling in all sorts of favours and travelling to random other places to drop him off, to come back again to see Jelly, but until the plan is put forwards, I can do nothing to prepare.
It's worrying me, but there is nothing I can do, until we have that planning meeting! Which is why it's frustrating, I like to plan.... so if I appear irritated, that's way.
Sunday, 28 July 2013
Two days, Three brothers...
We met up with 2 of boy-o's brothers last week. The twin brothers who are 14 months older than he is, and adopted on the other side of the city we call home - nearly in a different area of the county. I love meeting up with them and their mum, and we had a lot to discuss!
Straight away we were stuck with the similarity in their looks, boy-o looks more like one of the twins than the other twin. They sound alike, they look alike, they act alike. Twin S is also loud, disruptive, stubborn and struggles to settle to anything... except winding up his twin brother. Twin J has many, many more problems than either of the other two and will when there is space transfer to a special school.
Their mum and I had a long chat. We talked about progress that has been made by all 3 boys since last time we met. We talked over issues with birth family - she never got to meet birthmum. We talked about our next adoption and how he fits into their story. We passed 2 hours chatting in a soft play place with occasional interruptions - 'look at me, Mum', and 'he threw that ball at me' and 'I want to go on that now'...just typical boy stuff.
She has warned me that her boys have been harder this year (their first at full time school) than ever before. We talked about loudness, inability to settle at tasks, stubbornness (oh my goodness they are stubborn or at least boy-o and twin S are). It is funny to see the three of them together, because they are clearly related and their Mum and I are clearly not.
And then, yesterday we treated ourselves to a visit that we shouldn't have made... but my boy is going to struggle unless we do and our social worker knows. We called round to see M's family friend, and just happened to sit in her back garden, and be invited through into next doors garden. Which probably means nothing... but I'll refer you back to the title of this post! We spent some time with boy-o's brother (to be) getting the boys used to each other. And listening to more from the foster carers!
And I know we shouldn't and many would frown on it. But he will be our child - even if I have to wait... I am having to wait, he should be with us now, if only his social worker had managed to do her job. And an occasional visit will help jelly get used to boy-o and boy-o to get used to jelly... Foster mum is very much in agreement with us, and we all think that boy-o is the most important person in this.
Oh... and jelly probably won't be his name for ever, but he shares a name with a friend's child, who has a lovely little nickname, which lead me to jelly - I'm not explaining more than that though.
Monday, 15 July 2013
Approval panel... v2
So, this morning was panel for us... sadly not the longed for approval and matching panel on the same day - but approval with matching booked for 4 weeks in the future.
It was a totally different experience this time; although I had been hoping for about 5 or 6 questions and we got 10 - some of which had sub parts. What made it different was the fact that not only did we know what was coming, but there were people on the panel, that we've met and even know! The chair person was new though!
The waiting period - last time we very studiously looked at the questions and talked about how we would answer them. This time we looked at the questions and branched off into different things... chicken pox (boy-o came down last week), school dinners, random things about number 2 child! But we did talk about all the questions eventually.
We were met as ever by the chair of the panel, who came into the waiting room to chat to us. She told us about panel...not that much has changed. And then we all trooped down the long corridor to where panel is held. All the members of the panel introduced themselves; and said what their role was. It helped that one of the social workers that we know really well was sitting opposite us as an observer - someone we know and like to talk to!
The first two questions were the standard....
1. Can you tell us about your experiences of working with the Agency so far...
2. Can you tell us about the child that you can imagine in your family... our social worker, did say that there was a child identified and did try to explain the complex family set up - although I'm not sure how much they understood.
The next few were all about boy-o.
3. Can you say how we are managing contact and how we plan to manage the two children's stories (they did admit that this would be easier as the boys are cousins)... we talked about direct contact with adopted siblings, we talked about meeting birth mum, we talked about letter box... we were asked about contact with siblings in long term care and we said... we'd love some, but it hasn't been organised yet. This question was asked by one of the managers from the long term looked after children team, and she told us that the siblings foster mum was keen for contact as well!
4. How are we preparing boy-o for reception, and how do we feel about the support been offered? This was a good question as we are working well for school, and explained that he is in the nursery unit attached to the school and has made several visits. That we are meeting his teacher and teaching assistant tomorrow, and what is been put in place for him.
5. How have our lives changed since we adopted boy-o... beyond all recognition.
6. What work have we done with boyo to prepare him for another child and how is it likely to impact his routine... we talked about sorting out the room, boy-o helping set up the cot, the wall stickers we have decorated with, we talked about him deciding that little brother/sister could have this toy or that toy.
7. How will we support boy-o if he struggles to cope... to which we said we are expecting him to struggle and will take it as it comes.
8. Introductions - how were they last time, what would be different this time? Talked about how good boy-o's foster carers are; but equally about parties and presents been difficult.
9. Have we met second time adopters... umm yes - talked about park dates and stay and play and everything that we do with other adopters which includes second time adopters.
10. Could M talk about his asthma and eczema... What about my weight? Did have apology from medical adviser (again someone we knew) but they have to ask a question.
So there we are... approved and ready and waiting for matching panel!
It was a totally different experience this time; although I had been hoping for about 5 or 6 questions and we got 10 - some of which had sub parts. What made it different was the fact that not only did we know what was coming, but there were people on the panel, that we've met and even know! The chair person was new though!
The waiting period - last time we very studiously looked at the questions and talked about how we would answer them. This time we looked at the questions and branched off into different things... chicken pox (boy-o came down last week), school dinners, random things about number 2 child! But we did talk about all the questions eventually.
We were met as ever by the chair of the panel, who came into the waiting room to chat to us. She told us about panel...not that much has changed. And then we all trooped down the long corridor to where panel is held. All the members of the panel introduced themselves; and said what their role was. It helped that one of the social workers that we know really well was sitting opposite us as an observer - someone we know and like to talk to!
The first two questions were the standard....
1. Can you tell us about your experiences of working with the Agency so far...
2. Can you tell us about the child that you can imagine in your family... our social worker, did say that there was a child identified and did try to explain the complex family set up - although I'm not sure how much they understood.
The next few were all about boy-o.
3. Can you say how we are managing contact and how we plan to manage the two children's stories (they did admit that this would be easier as the boys are cousins)... we talked about direct contact with adopted siblings, we talked about meeting birth mum, we talked about letter box... we were asked about contact with siblings in long term care and we said... we'd love some, but it hasn't been organised yet. This question was asked by one of the managers from the long term looked after children team, and she told us that the siblings foster mum was keen for contact as well!
4. How are we preparing boy-o for reception, and how do we feel about the support been offered? This was a good question as we are working well for school, and explained that he is in the nursery unit attached to the school and has made several visits. That we are meeting his teacher and teaching assistant tomorrow, and what is been put in place for him.
5. How have our lives changed since we adopted boy-o... beyond all recognition.
6. What work have we done with boyo to prepare him for another child and how is it likely to impact his routine... we talked about sorting out the room, boy-o helping set up the cot, the wall stickers we have decorated with, we talked about him deciding that little brother/sister could have this toy or that toy.
7. How will we support boy-o if he struggles to cope... to which we said we are expecting him to struggle and will take it as it comes.
8. Introductions - how were they last time, what would be different this time? Talked about how good boy-o's foster carers are; but equally about parties and presents been difficult.
9. Have we met second time adopters... umm yes - talked about park dates and stay and play and everything that we do with other adopters which includes second time adopters.
10. Could M talk about his asthma and eczema... What about my weight? Did have apology from medical adviser (again someone we knew) but they have to ask a question.
So there we are... approved and ready and waiting for matching panel!
Thursday, 4 July 2013
Adoption Number 2...
We are waiting. Which is a major part of adoption...
We know what we are waiting for, we know when we are waiting until. But even so, we are waiting. We do now have a definite date; which is something!
He's had his adoption medical this week, and we have some useful information. We are seeing the consultant tomorrow.
His social worker is doing my head in, and my mate who works in social care, but is leaving soon, has promised to hunt the women down and kick her for me.
We are looking at introductions in Aug; and moving in later the same month - a week or two before boyo starts full time school.... no problems with that then, none at all!
We are meeting foster carer on Monday - hopefully we can have some questions answered.
He still doesn't have a blog name, because I'm not convinced about the one I choose. I might have to leave it until we meet him!
We know what we are waiting for, we know when we are waiting until. But even so, we are waiting. We do now have a definite date; which is something!
He's had his adoption medical this week, and we have some useful information. We are seeing the consultant tomorrow.
His social worker is doing my head in, and my mate who works in social care, but is leaving soon, has promised to hunt the women down and kick her for me.
We are looking at introductions in Aug; and moving in later the same month - a week or two before boyo starts full time school.... no problems with that then, none at all!
We are meeting foster carer on Monday - hopefully we can have some questions answered.
He still doesn't have a blog name, because I'm not convinced about the one I choose. I might have to leave it until we meet him!
Thursday, 6 June 2013
Decision made - and link made
I need to write; and the aspects of thinking about blogging and where to blog are driving me around the bend at the moment!
We had a visit today... two social workers came to call! We have a definite link, we have a date for approval panel, we have a date for matching panel (it's not when I wanted it -but what was best for child's social worker).
We have a link... can I tell you that again, we have a link.
We decided, after a lot of thinking and hearts to go with our guts; because my head at least refused to make a decision. We are going with boy-o's cousin (need a blog name). There are many reasons for this, which I cannot and will not sure here.
So now, we sit and twiddle our thumbs whilst his social worker gets her act together... although to be fair; she is the second social worker this child has had since we started talking about him, and the third in total. I wasn't impressed, I get the feeling that she will need to be pushed all the way - thank goodness for our amazing social worker.
Now, we have to spread the news that we have a link, and that we have another child (who still needs a blog name) who will come and live with us soon - I'm not going back to work in September soon!
And in a slightly bizarre twist of fate... we know where he is presently; we know his foster parent's next door neighbour and someone in this house might have gone to see next door neighbour whilst I was at work on Tues, and might have seen foster carer (who knew who he was) and small boy playing. Someone might even have been invited round so that boy-o could see their tortoises. Not that I am jealous!
And in M's defence - what little there is - he had gone round to see next door neighbour to pre-warn her what was going on, and to ask her a favour. Because our big worry is that when M's mum find's out where this child is, she will go rushing round to her friend's house (next door neighbour) and demand to be taken next door to see child. M would not have done it if we weren't 100% sure that this child is coming to us - there is no way the family finder (we love her too) and our social worker will let this one go. It is the right decision.
I have unofficially been told that neither our social worker or the foster carer would care if I happened to walk by their house and peer into the garden sometime soon!
Friday, 19 April 2013
Adoption is all about waiting....
We visited M's parents last weekend, having not seen them for a few weeks as we've been ill and they've been ill. M's mum was asking how things were progressing with our second adoption - our reply, it's progressing! Her comment was about the waiting that we have to do - whereas I can't help but feel that we are rushing through it.
This week has actually been about highs and flat spots....
My work is interesting at the moment, but hopefully one of the big stresses will be sorted out and over with next week. Then a couple of weeks afterwards the GCSE classes leave; so more non-contact time for doing work at school.
Boy-o got our first choice school....which is good because it means the system works. Sadly not all of his friends got in.
We saw our social worker this week. She may have talked about actual children. She may have gone away and sent our old report away to two social workers - and I did say to her that she knows us so well and what we'd like that she can send it to whatever social worker she likes - i.e. children she thinks we may be interested in.
We have a panel date - and the plan is that we will go for approval and matching on the same day.
Argh - it's all happening!
This week has actually been about highs and flat spots....
My work is interesting at the moment, but hopefully one of the big stresses will be sorted out and over with next week. Then a couple of weeks afterwards the GCSE classes leave; so more non-contact time for doing work at school.
Boy-o got our first choice school....which is good because it means the system works. Sadly not all of his friends got in.
We saw our social worker this week. She may have talked about actual children. She may have gone away and sent our old report away to two social workers - and I did say to her that she knows us so well and what we'd like that she can send it to whatever social worker she likes - i.e. children she thinks we may be interested in.
We have a panel date - and the plan is that we will go for approval and matching on the same day.
Argh - it's all happening!
Thursday, 28 March 2013
randomness
It's been a funny old few weeks... but the Easter holidays are here and we can all relax and breathe a little easier.... I say this despite the fact, boy-o craves routine and the fact we are off to visit family makes it all worse!
Nursery school are doing good things; well I think they are doing good things. Following our open and honest discussion at parent's evening, they are asking a specialist Early Years team into school to assess him. Hopefully this will give us all a clearly picture of where he is, and what he's particular needs are. It does mean he is now firmly on the special needs register, but I'm not too worried by that fact.
Work - my boss is up to her old tricks. This week two of my friends returned from maternity leave...they were both in tears before the end of their second day. Thankfully working 3 days a week, I can just about avoid her.
We are going to visit my parents for a week. These are the same parents who partly live in the same village as me, and partly live on the Isle of Wight. It's an arrangement that is working for no-one at the moment, and I can't see it continuing. Nevertheless, a week on the Isle of Wight beckons.
Life story book.... it's on it's way, finally I've nearly finished the re-invented book! There may be blurry pictures when I've done it.
Adoption 2... is also underway. We've had two official visits from our SW, we would have done all the questions, but we got sidetracked into talking about the Life Story Book provided by boy-o's social worker... and how shockingly bad it is. I showed it to her, and she agreed. She was cross on our behalf. She's coming back after her 2 week Easter break, twice in one week, once to see boy-o and once to see M and I.
It's cold and we still have snow. Not as much as we had last weekend, but there is still snow out there. I'm hoping my the time we are back from holiday it will be gone for at least 7 months! I can't cope if we have snow in April.
There is much more racing around my head, but I am too tired to write anymore now! Soon hopefully.
Nursery school are doing good things; well I think they are doing good things. Following our open and honest discussion at parent's evening, they are asking a specialist Early Years team into school to assess him. Hopefully this will give us all a clearly picture of where he is, and what he's particular needs are. It does mean he is now firmly on the special needs register, but I'm not too worried by that fact.
Work - my boss is up to her old tricks. This week two of my friends returned from maternity leave...they were both in tears before the end of their second day. Thankfully working 3 days a week, I can just about avoid her.
We are going to visit my parents for a week. These are the same parents who partly live in the same village as me, and partly live on the Isle of Wight. It's an arrangement that is working for no-one at the moment, and I can't see it continuing. Nevertheless, a week on the Isle of Wight beckons.
Life story book.... it's on it's way, finally I've nearly finished the re-invented book! There may be blurry pictures when I've done it.
Adoption 2... is also underway. We've had two official visits from our SW, we would have done all the questions, but we got sidetracked into talking about the Life Story Book provided by boy-o's social worker... and how shockingly bad it is. I showed it to her, and she agreed. She was cross on our behalf. She's coming back after her 2 week Easter break, twice in one week, once to see boy-o and once to see M and I.
It's cold and we still have snow. Not as much as we had last weekend, but there is still snow out there. I'm hoping my the time we are back from holiday it will be gone for at least 7 months! I can't cope if we have snow in April.
There is much more racing around my head, but I am too tired to write anymore now! Soon hopefully.
Thursday, 14 March 2013
Ooops
Sorry - I've made a commitment to myself to blog more; and I'd been managing it but the last two weeks have been busy/difficult/tired.
In summary: illness, meeting, meeting, illness, preparing for birthday party, birthday cake, birthday party, adoption celebration, illness, mother's day, illness, ofsted, ofsted, illness, CRB forms, illness.
As you can see - illness features quite highly, from boy-o's cold at half term, we have all been suffering with a cold, that keeps mutating and getting passed round. It's not been very fun, and M started with another cold yesterday. I think we shall just keep clinging on until Easter, when we can relax and chill!
The birthday celebrations I will keep for another day - as they deserve their own post; party last weekend, birthday is this coming weekend.
Adoption celebration event, is one of the magical things that our LA does for us. We enjoyed it last year, and more so this year, as we knew what we were expecting. It was fantastic to see so many familiar faces from adoption support group, the toddler stay and play, and best of all our preparation course. I talked to lots of people, boy-o bounced lots on the bouncy castle, demanded a balloon model made by our old social worker - nothing else would do. There was sand, tunnels, paint, all which were played with.
Ofsted visited my work this week. It involved lots of extra paperwork, seating plans, lesson plans (usually a powerpoint is enough), results tables... and super planned lessons. I was seen, I am content with what I was graded. I am super pleased with the overall result which we were told at 4.00 yesterday, all the hard work has indeed paid off.
Mother's day - for years I avoided Church on Mothering Sunday, if I have to sit through another service next year like the one I sat through this year, I might have to make sure my boy doesn't go. All about the wonderful bond formed between mother's and their children. And all about how mother's keep their children safe. Thankfully I had my special Brownie sitting next to me, and she focused my attention away from anything else. Boy-o was playing in creche, and didn't hear any of it - but we won't be able to do that next year. Grrrrr.
Second adoption plans are progressing, but been hampered by the workload of our LA. Things are moving, I know they are, but slowly, slowly, slowly. We did eventually get our form to fill in, we have eventually got the CRB forms and the medical forms, but it's all slowly, slowly, slowly. Social Worker A is visiting next week - she is A purely as she was our first social worker...although there may be another reason too.
And the meetings were useful, but two meetings in two evenings is too many.
More will follow - not sure when, but it will!
In summary: illness, meeting, meeting, illness, preparing for birthday party, birthday cake, birthday party, adoption celebration, illness, mother's day, illness, ofsted, ofsted, illness, CRB forms, illness.
As you can see - illness features quite highly, from boy-o's cold at half term, we have all been suffering with a cold, that keeps mutating and getting passed round. It's not been very fun, and M started with another cold yesterday. I think we shall just keep clinging on until Easter, when we can relax and chill!
The birthday celebrations I will keep for another day - as they deserve their own post; party last weekend, birthday is this coming weekend.
Adoption celebration event, is one of the magical things that our LA does for us. We enjoyed it last year, and more so this year, as we knew what we were expecting. It was fantastic to see so many familiar faces from adoption support group, the toddler stay and play, and best of all our preparation course. I talked to lots of people, boy-o bounced lots on the bouncy castle, demanded a balloon model made by our old social worker - nothing else would do. There was sand, tunnels, paint, all which were played with.
Ofsted visited my work this week. It involved lots of extra paperwork, seating plans, lesson plans (usually a powerpoint is enough), results tables... and super planned lessons. I was seen, I am content with what I was graded. I am super pleased with the overall result which we were told at 4.00 yesterday, all the hard work has indeed paid off.
Mother's day - for years I avoided Church on Mothering Sunday, if I have to sit through another service next year like the one I sat through this year, I might have to make sure my boy doesn't go. All about the wonderful bond formed between mother's and their children. And all about how mother's keep their children safe. Thankfully I had my special Brownie sitting next to me, and she focused my attention away from anything else. Boy-o was playing in creche, and didn't hear any of it - but we won't be able to do that next year. Grrrrr.
Second adoption plans are progressing, but been hampered by the workload of our LA. Things are moving, I know they are, but slowly, slowly, slowly. We did eventually get our form to fill in, we have eventually got the CRB forms and the medical forms, but it's all slowly, slowly, slowly. Social Worker A is visiting next week - she is A purely as she was our first social worker...although there may be another reason too.
And the meetings were useful, but two meetings in two evenings is too many.
More will follow - not sure when, but it will!
Friday, 22 February 2013
Frustration
So back in Nov we phoned up our adoption agency and said 'we're ready to start the process for a second child'. We knew that we would have to wait until after Christmas for anything to happen....
We had a visit from a social worker 5 weeks ago. It was our old social worker so she was honest and straightforward with us, and very much gave us the impression that the paper work would follow soon.
So here we are 5 weeks later, waiting for that paperwork....
And the reason, those magic targets made by the government. 8 months from enquiring until approval, except enquiring is getting that form sent off back to them. The longer they delay on sending the form, the easier it is for them.
I know that there are families already in the system, that they need to try to push through - but it's so frustrating .. we could be approved within 3 months, and have a child out of the care system not much longer after that. Instead we are waiting because the social workers are too busy meeting their targets with those that have already had the form.
So as generally happens when the government sets targets, things happen so slowly in the beginning, so that the waiting times during the time that counts is shorter!
There are a lot of children waiting to be adopted within our area at the minute - it's one of those areas on the map that shows over 48 children... speaking to one of the social workers we've been told the actual figure is twice that. Which is why it's so frustrating to be waiting for some paper to come through the post so that we can start again!
We had a visit from a social worker 5 weeks ago. It was our old social worker so she was honest and straightforward with us, and very much gave us the impression that the paper work would follow soon.
So here we are 5 weeks later, waiting for that paperwork....
And the reason, those magic targets made by the government. 8 months from enquiring until approval, except enquiring is getting that form sent off back to them. The longer they delay on sending the form, the easier it is for them.
I know that there are families already in the system, that they need to try to push through - but it's so frustrating .. we could be approved within 3 months, and have a child out of the care system not much longer after that. Instead we are waiting because the social workers are too busy meeting their targets with those that have already had the form.
So as generally happens when the government sets targets, things happen so slowly in the beginning, so that the waiting times during the time that counts is shorter!
There are a lot of children waiting to be adopted within our area at the minute - it's one of those areas on the map that shows over 48 children... speaking to one of the social workers we've been told the actual figure is twice that. Which is why it's so frustrating to be waiting for some paper to come through the post so that we can start again!
Sunday, 20 January 2013
Moments to remember...
My little boy amazed me this evening... I mean he is amazing, and constantly surprises me, but this was a big 'oh' moment.
We are spending a lot of time talking about 'little brother or little sister'. And once again this evening getting ready for sleep we were chatting about whether he wants a little sister like A or a little brother like T (both children he sees pretty regularly). He responded he wanted a sister S (his cousin) and once again I started the conversation with him about how not all families are built like ours, and that 'little brother or little sister' would be living with someone else because their birth mummy and daddy couldn't look after them
And he responded
'they'll have a mummy P.... (his birth mother's name)'
And we I built on that, all the while going, 'wow, wow, he's starting to get it' inside.
We often talk a basically about adoption, and about why he's in care, and about his birth mother. He often appears not to be listening, or taking it in, or just changes the topic (as 3 year old's do). But apparently he is taking it in. I need to get on with that life story book!
And in other news... we saw a social worker this week; our social worker. She scared me, by mentioning that it will not take long to update PAR, and that we could be looking at a child been placed this year; by which I mean academic year. We could (could note) have a child placed by September!
We are spending a lot of time talking about 'little brother or little sister'. And once again this evening getting ready for sleep we were chatting about whether he wants a little sister like A or a little brother like T (both children he sees pretty regularly). He responded he wanted a sister S (his cousin) and once again I started the conversation with him about how not all families are built like ours, and that 'little brother or little sister' would be living with someone else because their birth mummy and daddy couldn't look after them
And he responded
'they'll have a mummy P.... (his birth mother's name)'
And we I built on that, all the while going, 'wow, wow, he's starting to get it' inside.
We often talk a basically about adoption, and about why he's in care, and about his birth mother. He often appears not to be listening, or taking it in, or just changes the topic (as 3 year old's do). But apparently he is taking it in. I need to get on with that life story book!
And in other news... we saw a social worker this week; our social worker. She scared me, by mentioning that it will not take long to update PAR, and that we could be looking at a child been placed this year; by which I mean academic year. We could (could note) have a child placed by September!
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