2013 in review...

January - started with conversations with boyo about having a sibling, and a meeting with a social worker about adoption number 2.  Boyo also started to show more understanding about adoption and the idea that he had a Mummy before me.

February - contained the down days that it does, as I remembered my worst miscarriage, contained a week off work, a birthday. a celebration of meeting boyo and a waiting for paperwork.

March - a month of momentous and less momentous occasions. We went to the LA adoption celebration, I had an OFSTED inspection at work, boyo had a birthday and a party, and we had a parent's evening - including the start of transferring from nursery to reception.

April - thoughts about life story work, and a life story book dominated my mind, along with the progress of a second adoption and meeting friends in the park.

May - contained a holiday - and many thoughts that have now gone from the blog as a couple of people in real life found my blog and caused me to go through and delete things from the past! We also found out about Jelly - and had to take an unbelievably difficult decision.

June - started with thoughts of giving up blogging, an accidental meeting of Jelly (by M), a definate link, a death and a funeral.

July - meant approval panel, school holidays, seeing boyo's birth brothers, the start of the worry about reception year for boyo, and a choking incident at school nursery.

Aug - school holidays and all that means, were pleasantly interrupted by introductions, and some difficult behaviour from boyo

Sept - reception year started with little success, and we had a visit from after adoption to talk about life story work.

Oct - was about survival, and the realisation that things were more than a little difficult and we needed help.

Nov - started with national adoption week, a post I shared on facebook, that made it's way back to boyo's school (must remember 1 of my fb friends works in the other reception class), boyo having a really bad day at school, and a conversation about a 'statement'. There was a week of meetings; from a LAC review for Jelly, to Post Adoption Support for boyo, GP's, health visitor, friends with DLA conversations, and a meeting with the SENCO...oh and complaints about my stance on photos at school!

Dec - was busy - hence the two posts - one Secret Santa post and one review of Christmas - without the hard stuff.

So 2013 has passed, the last few months in a blur. I hope 2014 gives us time to relax more. I have less expectations - can things not get worse please, and can we get boyo attending full time school sometime this academic year - preferably before I go back to work. However, we hope we have one big change coming - a house move is very much on the cards, to a bigger house with a much bigger garden.

Wishing you all a Happy New Year - and for those expecting great things - I hope you have a wonderful 2014.

Decision made - and link made

I need to write; and the aspects of thinking about blogging and where to blog are driving me around the bend at the moment!

We had a visit today... two social workers came to call! We have a definite link, we have a date for approval panel, we have a date for matching panel (it's not when I wanted it -but what was best for child's social worker). 

We have a link... can I tell you that again, we have a link. 

We decided, after a lot of thinking and hearts to go with our guts; because my head at least refused to make a decision. We are going with boy-o's cousin (need a blog name). There are many reasons for this, which I cannot and will not sure here. 

So now, we sit and twiddle our thumbs whilst his social worker gets her act together... although to be fair; she is the second social worker this child has had since we started talking about him, and the third in total. I wasn't impressed, I get the feeling that she will need to be pushed all the way - thank goodness for our amazing social worker. 

Now, we have to spread the news that we have a link, and that we have another child (who still needs a blog name) who will come and live with us soon - I'm not going back to work in September soon! 

And in a slightly bizarre twist of fate... we know where he is presently; we know his foster parent's next door neighbour and someone in this house might have gone to see next door neighbour whilst I was at work on Tues, and might have seen foster carer (who knew who he was) and small boy playing. Someone might even have been invited round so that boy-o could see their tortoises. Not that I am jealous! 

And in M's defence - what little there is - he had gone round to see next door neighbour to pre-warn her what was going on, and to ask her a favour. Because our big worry is that when M's mum find's out where this child is, she will go rushing round to her friend's house (next door neighbour) and demand to be taken next door to see child. M would not have done it if we weren't 100% sure that this child is coming to us - there is no way the family finder (we love her too) and our social worker will let this one go. It is the right decision. 

I have unofficially been told that neither our social worker or the foster carer would care if I happened to walk by their house and peer into the garden sometime soon! 

Frustration

So back in Nov we phoned up our adoption agency and said 'we're ready to start the process for a second child'. We knew that we would have to wait until after Christmas for anything to happen....

We had a visit from a social worker 5 weeks ago. It was our old social worker so she was honest and straightforward with us, and very much gave us the impression that the paper work would follow soon.

So here we are 5 weeks later, waiting for that paperwork....

And the reason, those magic targets made by the government. 8 months from enquiring until approval, except enquiring is getting that form sent off back to them. The longer they delay on sending the form, the easier it is for them.

I know that there are families already in the system, that they need to try to push through - but it's so frustrating .. we could be approved within 3 months, and have a child out of the care system not much longer after that. Instead we are waiting because the social workers are too busy meeting their targets with those that have already had the form.

So as generally happens when the government sets targets, things happen so slowly in the beginning, so that the waiting times during the time that counts is shorter!

There are a lot of children waiting to be adopted within our area at the minute - it's one of those areas on the map that shows over 48 children... speaking to one of the social workers we've been told the actual figure is twice that. Which is why it's so frustrating to be waiting for some paper to come through the post so that we can start again!