Summer holidays are passing...

It's not that I've nothing to post, it's just I'm so busy and so tired that I don't seem to have found the time.

When we set off for this school holiday, I knew I needed a plan.... so we have, and I'm sticking to it. There is something free on around here most days, so that was the first thing to go on. We also arranged to meet our fellow adoptive families on one day a week. I've tried to fit a treat most weeks... this week it was to go on one of the local steam railways, last week we went to big city and went to the Lego shop! We've also had friends to see - which has helped fill time. We've visited parks, walked in different places and generally had lots of out time. We've done craft and painting, and I have some more planned.

So far it seems to be going okay. We've had some meltdowns, and some tantrums, but not as much I was expecting!

Except of course, next week it will all go wrong. We are starting introductions for Jelly (assuming we get through matching panel), which will have a lot of impact on what we can do with Boy-o. At the moment we don't know exactly what we will be doing when, but it's going to have to involve Boy-o a lot, as I am short of people to leave him with - I might be calling in all sorts of favours and travelling to random other places to drop him off, to come back again to see Jelly, but until the plan is put forwards, I can do nothing to prepare.

It's worrying me, but there is nothing I can do, until we have that planning meeting! Which is why it's frustrating, I like to plan.... so if I appear irritated, that's way.

randomness

It's been a funny old few weeks... but the Easter holidays are here and we can all relax and breathe a little easier.... I say this despite the fact, boy-o craves routine and the fact we are off to visit family makes it all worse!

Nursery school are doing good things; well I think they are doing good things. Following our open and honest discussion at parent's evening, they are asking a specialist Early Years team into school to assess him. Hopefully this will give us all a clearly picture of where he is, and what he's particular needs are. It does mean he is now firmly on the special needs register, but I'm not too worried by that fact.

Work - my boss is up to her old tricks. This week two of my friends returned from maternity leave...they were both in tears before the end of their second day. Thankfully working 3 days a week, I can just about avoid her.

We are going to visit my parents for a week. These are the same parents who partly live in the same village as me, and partly live on the Isle of Wight. It's an arrangement that is working for no-one at the moment, and I can't see it continuing. Nevertheless, a week on the Isle of Wight beckons.

Life story book.... it's on it's way, finally I've nearly finished the re-invented book! There may be blurry pictures when I've done it.

Adoption 2... is also underway. We've had two official visits from our SW, we would have done all the questions, but we got sidetracked into talking about the Life Story Book provided by boy-o's social worker... and how shockingly bad it is. I showed it to her, and she agreed. She was cross on our behalf. She's coming back after her 2 week Easter break, twice in one week, once to see boy-o and once to see M and I.

It's cold and we still have snow. Not as much as we had last weekend, but there is still snow out there. I'm hoping my the time we are back from holiday it will be gone for at least 7 months! I can't cope if we have snow in April.

There is much more racing around my head, but I am too tired to write anymore now! Soon hopefully.

Tired Mummy....

I don't think I've ever felt this tired after a holiday before. I've lots to blog about, but very little enthusiasm... which is a little like what I said about exercise earlier on today!

Holiday was great and horrific. Not even in equal measure. To the people at work who've asked and said 'you'll have had a lovely time' I've just nodded and said yes. It was lovely. It was. But I was so relieved when I was talking to an adoptive mum last night and I said we'd gone away and she says 'how are you, how bad was it?' I'm so blessed to have people who get it in my life.

We had a wonderful time, we went to the beach and built sandcastles, and went in the sea. We went to an amazing adventure playground, which boy-o loved. We saw my Great Aunt and Uncle - boy-o even managed to get to sit on their tractor. I was still in shock that 5+ years after last visiting them we managed to find their somewhat obscure street (in the middle of no-where 5 miles to here, 4 miles to there). We did walks, we did playing, and we did no sleeping, regression in behaviour and high levels of stress and anxiety!

We know he would find it hard - why wouldn't he, somewhere strange? What sort of questions does it rise in his head?

And to back it worse, we came home on Saturday and spent all day Sunday either at Church or at friend's house as her youngest was baptised. And no pre-school this week. No return to routine. Can you guess how this week is going. We went to same friend's for eat up lunch on Monday, and she commented, he's not settled at the minute - and I just laughed. Luckily she is a friend that gets it - and works with small children.

M and I are trying some new ideas. Some things that seem to be working. Some that don't. Tonight's tantrum was superb.... I needed to leave at 6.15 to get were I was going on time.... we started to get him ready for bed about 5.50, so all M had to do was give him some milk and supper. I left at 6.40... after 30 mins of listening to boy-o scream. We did get him to calm down before I left... I was late. Who cares?

We will get there, or not and we will readjust our expectations.

Feb half term

Half term week has been and gone...in a blaze of happy times, friends and a lack of sleep. Tomorrow would indicate a return to work - except I don't work Mondays.

This time last year... is a little phrase that has rattled around my head this past week. Last Feb half term (which was actually a week later) we had matching panel, we got a yes, and we madly organised for a week, before meeting our boy.

This year... I've spent quality and happy time with my boy. Well, mostly happy, but neither of us has been 100% well, if he's slept alright I've been up coughing. If I've been on for a good night's sleep, he's been awake. Last night might actually have broken our previous record, but about 3 o'clock this morning, M & I gave up counting. It wasn't a good night!

But highlights of the last week, seeing our friends with their new puppy, and walking with them all. Meeting up with another friend and her 3 year old twins, having a glorious walk and watching the boys interact. Having my friend with her daughter her for lunch and playing with boy-o. Getting to go to the adoption play group; and seeing my friends there, chatting and catching up.

We've had some good times and bad times with boy-o this week. He's very two at the minute; and with being off colour, we've had plenty of tantrums. Proper two year old tantrums. Proper do-your-head in tantrums. Lots of crying and screaming when he can't have his way. I keep hoping that a magic switch will appear when he turns 3.... however, having seen my friends 3 year old twins, it's possible that doesn't happen.

But this too will pass, I'm not complaining as such, just diarising. He is a happy, young man with a whole lot of personality.