A year on...

This week the theme for the Weekly Adoption Shout Out #WASO is A Year On...so I thought I'd run with that...

A year ago, we were anxiously waiting for paperwork to start adoption number two, (I've checked back). I was busy at work, doing all sorts of things that I always do (I haven't checked, I've assumed). We were a family of 3 doing okay (mostly) with boyo coping with most of what was coming his way. Apparently a year ago, he had a crying fit at school 'because he didn't want the baby to stay'... or in fact he had watched one of his friends get to go home after crying...about his baby brother. I was also celebrating our adoption support networks, filled with amazing friends.

A year ago, I could not have imagined what this year would bring... a new child, an upcoming house move, looking towards a statement for boyo at school, more doctor, post adoption support, new friends,

We have had a good year - with some incredibly difficult patches. Things once more have changed beyond recognition... and we are slowly finding a way to a new normal. Some weeks are good - last week was good, some weeks are more tricky... I find it hard to be calm and sympathetic on 3 hours sleep. We have amazing moments of pure joy... and we have moments that I could sit and cry.

A year ago, I thought my heart and life were full. I had no idea that there was room for more. A year ago I was confident that we were through the worst with boyo and things were getting better... I had no idea of the effect of full time school. A year ago, I was still asking questions of experienced adopters... now I am asked the questions...although I still ask them of others.

Time doesn't stand still, and neither do our lives. A year is a long time, but at the same time, just a blink of an eye.

Well done The Adoption Social - a year ago, you started something... which has grown and grown, along with a community of supportive people. I hope you continue  for many a year to come, as we all walk aside each other, learning from each other and sharing joy and tears.

My boys...

I did start writing a post last weekend for the #WASO theme of the future, however I got so despondent and upset that I gave up writing it. To be fair - it was following the week where I ended up in tears at boy-o's school at an evening event, partly because I as so fed up with his teacher, and partly because he isn't at the same level as his peers. Thankfully the teaching assistant is fantastic, and didn't laugh at me, but instead listened to my concerns.

However, this week feels in some respects better... a week of no school has improved many things...not least boy-o's sleep. We've only had a couple of nights with wake ups - and one of those was because he was struggling with his cold. It's not to say everything has been perfect and I am more than ready for him to go to school tomorrow... but generally a better than expected week.

So 10 and a bit weeks in, how are things with two boys....

Jelly is a delight mostly - we have had a few concerns and a paediatrician appointment, but generally things are going well. He looks to us for comfort.... when I left him at my mum's for an hour, he burst into tears when he realised I was going, and came and gave me a massive cuddle when I arrived back. He crawled into my lap when M's mum said 'no' to him. He is doing well - and as an aside, he adores his big brother - and boy-o will make him giggle by doing the most stupid of things.

Boy-o is also a delight and joy and we adore him. However, he is still really struggling...with his new normal - both full time school (ha) and a new brother.

He is still only doing half time school - and at the moment no-one appears to have a plan to change this (problem number 1). I have asked for a meeting with his teacher in the next couple of weeks to discuss how things are going... and what they are doing to help him. He has an IEP - which we haven't seen and signed. His teacher keeps telling me - 'others do this, and others do that' without offering any solutions to help him. Over the past couple of weeks I have had some serious conversations with my reception teacher friend and been given some guidance.. which needs to be a whole other post.

Boy-o loves Jelly. Jelly loves Boy-o and they are delight - but I can't leave them together because boy-o gets silly - so when I'm cooking tea I have one of them with me. Boy-o cannot play by himself.. he cannot choose something to play with and do so. He has to interfere with whatever anyone else is playing with. He needs more attention and more reassurance than ever before. He is argumentative for the sake of being argumentative...

IT IS HARD... I feel the need to shout that, because I can't get people to understand... and I'm not sure that I will get them to understand... thankfully our social worker does understand and is an amazing support. Thankfully I have some amazing friends who do understand. Thankfully the twitter community is alive and well and keeping me sane.

Food...baking one of our favourite activities

Boy-o, as I've said so many times needs sensory input...

One of the things he really loves to do, is to make biscuits; making the dough with our hands fills his need for tactile input. Rolling the dough and cutting biscuits is also good fun. Then the best bit, decorating them.

This may not be the best picture - but it's some that I have a picture of!

Our biscuit recipe
3oz plain flour
2oz butter
1oz sugar
1/2 teaspoon of mixed spice/ginger/cinnamon if you feel like it!
Dash of milk

Put the butter, flour, sugar and spice (if using) into a bowl and mix with your hands. It should go breadcrumb like, then all lump together. If it's too dry add a little milk.

Flour your surface and roll and cut, and roll and cut.... tip - it won't take too much working, I also do half the mixture and add to it.

Put your cut biscuits onto an oven tray (line it with greaseproof) and cook for 10-12 mins at 170 oC (in my oven at least). When the biscuits start to look brown, take them out, and allow to cool on a cooling rack.

Make icing - we use glace (water) icing. Divide your icing into small bowls, and add colour. Spread on biscuits and add sprinkles! Eat at least 2, before you've finished!

Boy-o loves this activity, he can do most of it, including measuring out ingredients with help. He can mix. He can roll, he can cut out. He's not so good at transferring to a baking tray, or positioning cutters! I tend to put the icing on, whilst he decorates!